And Then There was Home
by Anhai
Summary: FF3DS: When you bleed, break, and die for a world you don't really belong in anymore, for people you can't even talk to anymore, then all you can do is hold what you do have close. And hope.  UNDERGOING EDITING
1. Through Blood, Sweat, and Tears

I'm rewriting most of these early chapters because...well, honestly, they were _bad_.

And yes! This means I'm picking up this project again, for any of you who are still reading it. Oh the wonders of playing through the game again.

**Overall Warnings**: There _will _be occasional hints of slash here and there, occasional descriptions of violence, and also possibly descriptions of just really horrific things. Other than that it's probably just silly group-bonding-stuff. These one-shots also do not follow a chronological order, though they are loosely tied together unless stated otherwise.

**This Chapter**: Arc acts stupid and ends up hurt for it. Ingus is Not Happy.

* * *

His feet were sore and stinging and if the somewhat soggy feeling in his left shoe was anything to go by, probably bleeding, too. Arc grimaced under the shadow his Black Mage's hat cast on his face. It was lucky he was at the back of the group so no one would notice the slight limp he'd developed.

It wasn't their fault, after all. Not their fault at all, that Arc was weak and out of shape and couldn't handle the pain his feet were giving him. He didn't want to inconvenience them any more than he had to, and so he gritted his teeth and focused on the ground to avoid stumbling over any stray roots or rocks…or his own two feet.

He listened with half an ear to Luneth's indecipherable rambling as the silver haired warrior tried his best to annoy Ingus…and failed but managed to rile Refia up in the process. Arc felt he should do something to stop his friend, but couldn't bring himself to open his mouth. It hurt too badly. It just hurt. And he couldn't…he couldn't do…_anything_, it felt like. Just the thought of it was enough to arouse the voices of his past tormenters, and Arc swallowed his frustrated hopelessness as he stumbled.

"_Coward!"_

_"Nerd!"_

"_Weirdo!"_

_"Weakling!"_

"Arc?"

Arc jerked his head up to gaze with wide eyes at Luneth, who met him with a blankly worried look, and was surprised to find that they'd stopped. "Are you alright?" his friend asked, putting a hand on Arc's shoulder. Arc desperately hoped Luneth didn't feel the jutting bone through the thick cloth.

A smile crossed Arc's face instinctively, and he tried not to notice the stares from Refia and Ingus. "Of course I am," he said lightly, trying to pass it off with a quizzical tilt of his head. "Why?"

Luneth frowned and opened his mouth to answer but Refia beat him to it, shoving Luneth out of the way and taking up a combative stance before Arc, hands on her hips and expression dark. _"Why?"_ she said "I'll tell you _why_; Ingus has tried _three times_ to ask you a question and you weren't answering!" Refia's eyes flashed with aggressive concern. "I expect the spacing out from _Luneth_ but not from you. That's _why_."

Arc flinched as Luneth shouted a protesting 'hey!' only to be shut up forcefully by Refia's fist on the back of his head. Hard.

"Sorry," Arc muttered and lowered his head, trying to ignore the pained and angry shouts of his friend; "I was just thinking." Refia's eyes immediately softened.

"Hey, it's okay; just try to be a little more aware why don't you?" and with that she let her pack drop to the ground with a _fwump_ and a spray of dust into the air. Matter settled. "Anyway, we're staying here for tonight, or so says our esteemed leader." Refia grinned at Arc and then exchanged a glance with Ingus, who was kneeling beside his own pack and had been rummaging through it with his customary solemnity. Ingus stared back unreadably before he returned to his supplies. Refia frowned, then shrugged and turned around with a sigh. "Me 'n the brainless wonder here will go find firewood," she declared, and grabbed the still grumbling Luneth by the ear as she stalked past him. "See you two in a bit!" she called over her shoulder before she and Luneth both disappeared into the shadows of the forest.

There was silence as Arc felt a wave of unnecessary panic as he tried to figure out a way to set up camp alone - with Ingus, the most observant of them all - and not give away the condition of his feet before he could look at them himself. After a moment of hesitation, he finally settled on just getting it over with and knelt down slowly to retrieve Refia's sleeping roll.

As he was kneeling, however, he was hit with a sudden wave of dizziness that caused him to trip over his own aching feet, which sent him straight into a tree and promptly spilled him on to the forest floor.

Arc groaned and tried to sit up, rubbing at his head with a shaking hand, only to find himself held down by a stronger hand on his shoulder. "Hold on, Arc," Ingus murmured, peering down at him in something almost like concern, "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Three fingers were held in front of his eyes and Arc blearily and quietly replied with the number, brow furrowing in confusion. Ingus nodded and released him and Arc raised himself carefully with his arms. He felt a hand support his back as he attempted to stand, but as soon as he placed weight on his feet they erupted with so much pain that he couldn't suppress a yelp and the immediate prick of tears as his legs gave out on him again.

Ingus caught him.

Arc felt himself lowered back to the ground and looked over to watch Ingus through tear-blurred eyes as the pain momentarily darkened his vision. Arc quickly turned away from the thoughtful but hard gaze, and blinked his pained tears away. He didn't dare reach up to scrub at his eyes.

_Oh no. _

Ingus was going to figure it out. He was going to know what a weakling Arc really was and he was going to sneer and laugh like everybody else. Or, well, maybe not laugh because Ingus didn't laugh, but definitely sneer, and snap, and maybe yell or send him back, and that was probably worse. It _was_ worse.

Arc was scared, and because of that he was frustrated. All he'd had to do was keep them from finding out that he couldn't hold his own, and he couldn't even do _that_ right. He was such an idiot. Such an idiotic, pathetic…

There was a hand on his forehead.

Ingus mumbled in discontent as Arc snapped his eyes to his face in surprise. "You're far too warm, Arc," Ingus muttered, tone calm enough to be almost snappish, and dropped a slight glare to Arc's own startled gaze. "Why didn't you tell us you were ill?"

Arc flinched. "I-I don't feel sick…" he replied quietly, though, now that he thought about it, he did feel a little warm and he shouldn't be surprised. He'd lost too much weight since the start of the journey and, what with the open sores on his feet, the filthy state of his shoes, and some of the terrain they'd been covering, anything could have happened.

Ingus sighed in exasperation. "Allow me to see your feet," he demanded, already reaching for the nearest brown covered appendage.

"W-What!" Arc yelped, startling out of his thoughts and snatching his foot back. "N-no, really. It's all right; they're all right!"

Ingus gave him an actual glare this time, the kind he usually reserved for Luneth. "_Arc_, once again, allow me to see your feet. It will be much easier on us both if you agree."

Arc opened his mouth to protest again, drawing his feet closer, then stilled, thinking about that and watching Ingus warily. Then with growing helplessness. So he didn't have a choice? There wasn't anything he could do to keep Ingus from looking at his feet without a fight, after all, and it wasn't like he could stop Ingus even then, if the knight didn't want him to. The surge of helplessness and shame hit Arc again like an aero spell and twisted something in his gut.

"Oh," he whispered. "A-all right." He uncurled his legs from where he'd tucked them close to his body and offered a foot. Ingus grunted his approval before removing one of Arc's shoes - the right shoe, thankfully enough. Arc didn't think that was the one that was bleeding. Though it was hard to tell through the-

There was a pause full of far too much sudden, charged _focus_ to be called quiet, and Ingus's hand tightened slightly around Arc's ankle. "_This_ is what you refer to as _all right,_ Arc?" Ingus finally hissed.

Arc looked away from the ground to see his foot. He hadn't been able to check them over for a couple nights now, and wanted to see how bad it had become.

It was bad.

Almost his entire foot was angry and red, with varying degrees of darkness and pink depending of age and state of the sore. Some spots were leaking clear or whitish liquid and the flesh was swelling where the shoe was no longer constricting it, and Arc distantly realized it had become infected.

_That explains why I'm sick…_He thought absently, mostly just to think of something aside from the looming _threat_ Ingus was presenting at the moment, and winced as Ingus brushed a gentle hand against one of the worst sores on the pad of his foot. The knight-turned-red-mage growled something under his breath and carefully set the damaged foot on his own thigh. He discarded the shoe and moved onto the left one with quick, tight movements.

That foot was worse than the right one. Blood, both drying and fresh, almost sealed the shoe onto Arc's foot. Ingus had to carefully pry it off, shoulders growing tenser with each second until the shoe was finally removed and Arc's grip was white knuckled, stark against his black tunic. The entire foot was white, red and so dark it was almost black.

Ingus actually cursed under his breath when he saw it and Arc winced. Still, nothing was said to Arc directly and the older boy reached over for Refia's pack in silence; removing bandages and antidote along with a strong smelling antiseptic and a rag.

The rag was wetted with water from Ingus's canteen, the only fresh water in the area, and then Ingus began carefully wiping at the wounds. Arc experienced a whole new level of pain, and he jerked back against the tree, chest tight with pain the forced his breath to escape from his lungs soundlessly.

Ingus noticed and his strokes became gentler, but he still didn't say anything. Occasionally he stopped to clean the rag and start again and Arc clenched his hands into fists each time, until he could feel his stubby fingernails biting into the flesh of his palm even through the heavy robe he wore. He squeezed his eyes shut to hold in tears. _"Crybaby,_" a voice from his past murmured and Arc fought harder to hold in his sobs.

"It is all right to cry," Ingus eventually, softly, said, and Arc opened his eyes and squinted. "The cleaning of old wounds hurts," Ingus explained, but didn't look up. "Infected wounds are even worse, and it has been said that the treatment is oftentimes worse than the wound itself…so crying, right now, is okay."

Arc blinked and swallowed hard, and was surprised to feel a certain relief at the words. Arc took to crying silently throughout the entire agonizing experience, focusing hard on keeping his foot still in Ingus's hands.

When Ingus was finally done, done with wrapping the bandages and applying the stinging antiseptic and taking to the wounds with an antidote that burned, he finally looked at Arc, and his eyes were guarded and careful.

"I will give you a Cure in a little while, after your feet have had time to heal on their own. It would be bad for your body to cure you so soon, and you cannot afford to become any more ill than you already are…nor can you afford to expend the energy." Ingus's eyes flashed and Arc flinched. After a moment of Ingus watching him while Arc kept his gaze directed to the ground, Ingus nodded and stood, stretching a bit before he turned to walk away. Arc swallowed again, then tried to get to his feet to follow, shaking slightly and relieved that it was over.

Ingus went rigid as a few leaves cracked under Arc's weight.

"Sit down!" he barked, whirling around, and Arc immediately dropped. "_You_ are in a bad enough state; you will _not _be adding to it. At all."

Arc stared up at Ingus, even as he shrunk in on himself, frustrated and upset _why couldn't he do anything _right_?_

Ingus sighed.

"Luneth knew something was wrong," Ingus said softly, with the air of an explanation, shoulders dropping a bit as he lifted a hand to rub at his forehead. "But he didn't know what it was, and so I didn't listen to him." Arc frowned as he thought about that; then he went very, very still. He made a sharp, protesting noise as he tried to lift himself up using the tree again. He wasn't foolish enough to attempt standing, but he had the urge to make himself bigger. To make certain his message carried some weight, however slight.

"Ingus, it's not your-!"

"Don't!" Ingus snapped, cutting him off and taking a few steps closer. "We _all_ know that you refuse to 'burden' this group, and so it falls to the rest of us to judge when something is ailing you." Ingus's hands tightened into fists and he turned his head just enough so he wasn't looking Arc directly in the eye. He took a steadying breath, and forced his hands to slowly unclench. When he spoke, his voice carried the calm weight Arc had grown accustomed to.

"You will rest and you will heal and then we will continue, but not before."

Arc opened his mouth and shut it again, then leant back against the tree and let himself slide down to curl up in its roots. He wasn't sure enough in himself or the situation to try and contradict the strongest fighter in their party.

For a moment, Ingus did nothing, just stood with closed eyes as though in meditation, then he abruptly snapped to attention and walked back to Arc. His eyes were fierce – determined - and Arc couldn't look away even as he pulled back against the tree in sudden alarm, though Ingus only knelt down in front of him and made no move to do anything else.

"If you _ever_ do this to yourself again, Arc, you _will_ be left in the next town we come across to recover. The persons in charge of you, and the guards of the town, will be given strict orders that you are not to leave the building until we return to collect you." Ingus's eyes narrowed and Arc felt a trill of fear in his chest as he twitched back against the trunk of the tree. He wanted to cry again, because of this whole mess, this whole _mess_. He didn't.

"You are not as expendable as you seem to think you are, Arc." Ingus snapped when Arc did nothing else, "and if I must, I will allow Refia to keep watch over you. Along with Luneth. And I will let you know now that the both of them _will_ be hearing of this."

Arc flinched again.

Ingus noticed and leant back onto his heels, studying him. Arc hunched his shoulders and looked away again, only to stiffen as a hand clumsily brushed his bangs from his forehead.

"Arc." Ingus said, and Arc carefully looked up to meet the blond's blue-gray eyes. Ingus watched him for a moment, then bowed his head.

"I swear to you, Arc, by my honor and my blades, that I will do my best to insure no harm comes to you…or to Refia or even to Luneth,." He paused. "Not even yourselves. My knight's honor at stake, I vow to you."

Ingus looked up then, his eyes hard and strangely passionate in a way that was almost terrifying – and comforting, maybe, and secure – to behold. "To me, my honor is my life, Arc, my blade my soul, and I never break a vow."


	2. The Matchmaker's Mind

_Yeah I know the last chapter was pretty sucked pretty bad…it was choppy and the characters were probably pretty OOC (I contribute part of the problem to trying to write while VERY mentally exhausted though most of it was just not checking over it very thoroughly.)_

_I'm going to go back to fix it in a while when I can face looking at it again but for now here's the next story…__**Warnings: Same as first chapter and summary so go read the Warnings there also some swearing (like one word) and this doesn't make a lot of sense…it was supposed to be something else and turned into this. I'll probably re-work it sometime in the near future too.**_

This was definitely not going as expected.

Refia sat with her legs dangling over the edge of a very steep cliff as she gazed at the sunset, though whether she was actually watching it or not was a mystery even to her. The boys were back at camp or at least had been when she had left and Refia was pretty certain that if she would be left alone for awhile…

Or at least as long as Arc and Ingus could keep Luneth occupied before he went out searching for her in that loud, monster-attracting way of his.

She sighed and leaned back on her hands. This whole journey had made them all antsy and paranoid and if she didn't head back soon then the entire group would eventually break and come to hunt her down.

The thought made her eyes darken.

It hadn't been like this at the beginning (what was the beginning now anyway? It seemed another lifetime she'd been a blacksmith's daughter and apprentice…even her father's face was beginning to blur…). At the beginning one or more of them could disappear all day and so long as they were able to track the group down afterwards and showed up before dinner then there was no great alarm.

Now though…now if you were gone longer than an hour everyone would start to wonder where you were, if you were alright, alive. It was then when everyone would, without a word, stop whatever they were doing and search for their missing comrade. It wasn't that safe anymore. It never had been actually, now that she thought about it, they'd just never really noticed it before. Oh maybe Ingus had; he'd always been twitchy whenever Luneth or Arc would disappear for longer than two hours at most (it had been the same when she'd been gone or so the others told her.)

It was worse when Arc would leave, however rare that was Refia thought with a wry smile and tilted her head back to observe the sky. Ingus was always, in his own way, watchful over all of them though he consistently left Luneth (who was already his equal in swordsmanship) to take care of himself in favor of watching out for the two 'weakest' (though the word didn't quite fit them anymore) of the group.

There had actually been a time when she'd thought that Ingus had, had a crush on her, with his insistence that if she went somewhere –to collect herbs or even to a shop- that 'would she please take Arc or Luneth with her?' He'd also insisted rather recently that her and Arc always stick with either him or Luneth (however grudgingly he admitted it).

That thought made her laugh now. It was rather obvious Ingus only saw her as a sister at most and a comrade at least, and that he had eyes only for a small, nervous bookworm who didn't have a clue. Actually, Refia thought with amusement, Ingus didn't seem totally aware of his attraction himself. It was either obliviousness (it wouldn't surprise her) or flat-out denial (that one wasn't totally out-there either).

It was even funnier since even Luneth had figured it out (and wasn't very happy about it.) The silver-haired boy had put all his effort into making sure Ingus and Arc weren't alone to often, with arguments (which gave Refia endless amusement and Arc several headaches); that protectiveness is exactly what had given her this valuable alone-time. She'd even supported Luneth's protests of accompanying her (very loudly) with threats of with-holding pain-killers next time she was forced into bandages and potions after she ran out of energy for Cures.

Still even though Luneth tried to keep Ingus from getting a chance to act on his feelings (again if the older boy even totally knew about them) he hadn't actually seemed very against the whole idea …he acted more like an over-protective brother trying to look out for his surprisingly-oblivious sibling's virtue. However that worked out.

Refia frowned in concentration. While the whole dancing-around-true-feelings thing was funny it was also starting to get old and Arc was catching onto Luneth's stubborn determination to keep him away from Ingus for long periods of time.

She actually had the vague suspicion that Arc was beginning to get very annoyed which while promising-to-the-cause was also somewhat, oh alright, totally, wrong. On so many levels. And frightening, very frightening. It was always the quiet ones they said and Refia didn't really want to test that theory with someone who could throw fireballs and thunderbolts around like pebbles. Or rather large, very destructive boulders that crushed everything within strike range.

Refia received a sudden mental picture of what could happen if Arc actually snapped and shuddered. No, no, it was better for all if Refia 'convinced' Luneth to back off even if her 'convincing' required serious mental counseling a bit farther down the road. And surgery, lots of surgery.

…Okay no more dreamland. She had some match-making to plan and someone should be coming to fetch her before the entire party went out searching and she was in trouble.

Three…

Two…

"Refia? Refia?"

Bingo. And there was Luneth, coming out of the trees behind her. "Refia!" The energetic boy called and came loping up to stand beside her on the cliff. He grinned down at her though his eyes were searching and dark.

"You came?" Refia asked, lifting a hand to shield her fact from the sun that was now directly in the corner of her vision. Luneth's eyes lightened at the scornful question and as he ascertained that she wasn't hurt or magically exhausted.

He plopped down beside her with a sigh. "Yeah, yeah. Ingus pretty much ordered me to come," Luneth frowned "I wouldn't have listened to him either but then Arc had to ask me and I couldn't say no to Arc when he's using the _puppy dog eyes_ I swear those should be labeled as a lethal weapons…" He didn't seem as upset as he was letting on though and was actually gazing at the sun with a pretty relaxed look in his eyes.

So Refia, not sensing any need in him to talk about anything vital, socked him upside the back of the head. "Idiot, puppy dog eyes can't be _lethal_ that's when something can be used to kill you, moron." Luneth yelped and rubbed the back of his head.

"Sure they can!" The boy protested, eye's wide "if someone like Arc asked you all nice-like to jump off a bridge and was giving you those eyes there would be _no way_ to say no! I didn't even realize I left because of them until I was half-way here!" Luneth nodded wisely and Refia tolled her eyes.

"Moron," she murmured under her breath though she felt a brief tingling of amusement. Luneth look over at her curiously.

"What'd you say?" He asked and Refia shrugged, flopping back all the way and tucking her hand's behind her head.

"Nothing." There was silence while Luneth blinked down at her before Refia asked, out of the blue. "Do you know Ingus likes Arc?"

Luneth sighed and scowled slightly. "Yeah, what about it?" Refia looked at him and smirked.

"You don't mind it as much as you act like it does do you."

"Yes I do." Was the immediate response and Refia's smirk widened.

"No you don't," and then, before he could begin a childish game of 'uh-huh', 'nuh-uh, "I think Ingus would be good for Arc actually."

Luneth froze and watched her, startled. Then her words fully registered, "H-how. Wha-. W-wh-Why would you think that!" Luneth finally snapped, eyes narrowing suspiciously. Refia didn't flinch.

"Think about it," she began calmly, something very rare for her, "Ingus cares for Arc and we both know how protective he can be…even if he usually doesn't act like it. Arc needs someone to support him, a rock or anchor you could say. Someone to ground him and someone who will listen without judgment. And someone who won't allow Arc to beat himself up over the smallest things." She added as an after-thought because it really was true.

Luneth huffed and turned his eyes to the sky. "And you think Ingus can do that?" He asked with un-characteristic harshness. Refia didn't even hesitate.

"Don't you?" Because the best way to get Luneth to understand something was to force him to actually think about the points of a situation. He really wasn't as stupid as most thought…he was just very impulsive.

Eventually Luneth slumped his shoulders and sighed and nodded like she knew he would and Refia smirked victoriously. "That's why I think we should try and get them together." She said off-handedly.

Luneth spluttered and Refia had to grab the back of his shirt to keep him from going over the side of the cliff (though she had no doubt he could have caught himself…eventually.)

Large dinner-plate sized eyes turned on her as she sat up. "N-now hold on." He said, "Yeah they might make a good couple but I'm not going to _try-_ with _Arc_-" he seemed to be having problems forming coherent sentences so Refia thumped him on the back lightly a few times in encouragement.

'_Lightly'_ having a very loose meaning here and Luneth had to grab a handful of grass to steady himself and keep him from falling off the cliff…again.

"Yep!" Refia said cheerfully and stood up, dusting herself off. "If you want to help I can tell you all about this plan I have but you don't _have_ to if you don't want to, I'm not going to _force_ you or anything."

Then she gave Luneth a bright smile (Luneth would later state that it was 'the damned scariest thing he'd _ever_ seen'.) And walked off.

It took Luneth all of three seconds to process what was happening, evaluate it, then come up with a firm decision (something about crazy she-devils and not leaving his best buddy at the mercy of that all by himself) and stand up, running after Refia shouting at the top of his lungs.

"Hey! Wait up! I want to hear too!" (And this had nothing to do with the perverted part of his brain that wanted to know what _would_ happen if Ingus and Arc got together…or the part that wanted to hear _all_ the details…nope not at all.)

---

Arc blinked and looked up from the soup he was preparing at what sounded like Luneth, screaming. He glanced over at Ingus who was cleaning one of his swords. "Ingus? Did you hear that?"

Ingus looked up and his blue-gray stare locked on Arc's wide one, there was a heavy look in them. "Luneth went out after Refia. Whatever happens out there I think would be best ignored."

Arc blinked and nodded uncertainly and with one last uneasy look around went back to his stew. Ingus kept his eyes on Arc for a little while and then went back to his sword.

It looked like he'd have to dodge Refia's matchmaking expertise again. Really you'd think the girl would trust him enough to muddle through his own love-life and focus on her own if she was that desperate or even better, Luneth's.

Ingus glanced up at Arc again and opened his mouth to say something.

Then he shut it and looked down.

There was plenty of time tomorrow.

---

_Please review. I'm not going to beg but I'd like some feedback and criticism, particularly on characterization; I've never been very good at that._

_Thank you and good evening _


	3. This is your Life

_Here's the next 'chapter' I guess. This one is just 20 sentences from prompt words I'm picking randomly out of the dictionary…I'll get the next drabble-thing up sometime soon…real soon._

_Thank you to __FlowersOfAeris__ and __Lina mogknight__ for their reviews. You guys really made my day and so this thing is dedicated to them as the first two reviewers. THANK YOU!_

_And now I'll shut up. __**Warnings are the same as before, mentions of slash (not so much in this one) and maybe a few curses of various sorts Enjoy.**_

1.) **Inarch**

Arc watched Luneth and Ingus fight, each standing on opposite ends of the fire, he heard Luneth's voice raise harshly and Ingus' soften dangerously, both their eyes flashing in the odd shifting light of the flame while they performed this odd dance of theirs, and wondered how they'd become so stubbornly intertwined.

2.) **Expiry**

As they drew closer and closer to their old homeland the impending sense of separation hovered over them like an acid rain cloud; intense, unstoppable and undoubtedly painful.

3.) **Room mate**

One of the few times they stayed at an inn and Luneth had to share a room with that pompous knight Ingus, Arc had to tackle him before he jumped out the open window and then Luneth remembered that Arc would be sharing the room with them too and everything was alright.

4.) **Realist**

Until Ingus pointed out that the window was on the first story and the worst that would have happened is that Luneth would have gotten stuck in the bush outside, after that the fight was inevitable and they ended up sleeping outside anyway.

5.) **Freeze**

Refia once said to Arc, while Luneth and Ingus were off training, that if got too close to Ingus you'd probably freeze, this was at the beginning of the journey and a year later Arc would cook a stew (spicy), look at her, smile, and say "would you like some ice to cool that soup?"

6.) **Intervene **

It was always Refia or Arc who would stop and soothe (or pummel) the fights between Luneth and Ingus out of existence, it was probably because of this that when Refia smacked Arc and Arc threw a book at Refia the two eldest, after trying (and failing miserably and painfully) to separate the two, went and hid for the entire duration of the fight.

7.) **Masquerade**

It took a lot of fast-talking and obnoxiousness on Luneth's side with some backup from Refia's sour temperament and silent treatment to convince Ingus to allow them to go to Prince Alus' masquerade ball; Ingus would never tell them that it was Arc's coming quietly to him late at night and looking all shy and unsure and asking 'it wouldn't be too much trouble to go, would it?' That finally did him in.

8.) **Costume**

It took even longer to convince Arc to come out of his room the night of the ball and it took Luneth marching in there with Refia on his heels to drag the blushing boy out of his closet, Ingus' jaw had almost dropped before he'd quickly grabbed Arc and shoved him back inside the room with orders to just wear one of his job outfits.

9.) **Confusion**

Luneth didn't fully understand why Ingus had decked him in the jaw while Arc was re-changing; after all _he'd_ thought Arc had looked adorable in the maid costume Refia had helped him pick out, besides it wasn't like Luneth would have actually let his best friend out of the house _wearing it_ regardless of what Refia was trying to say.

10.) **Priority**

Ingus had seen a lot, being a warrior for the king it was unavoidable, but with everything he'd been ordered to do he'd always kept to his code: the kingdom and the safety of the royal family came first, always; then Arc had come along with two people who might just be friends and now he was wondering just hen his priorities had changed.

11.) **Genteel**

Arc was without argument the most polite and well-mannered of all the Warriors of Light and as a result people often took him as the weakest, until he took his staff and clocked you over the head while sincerely apologizing for the headache you'd have when you were conscious again.

12.) **Perception**

When this happened outsiders agreed that it was probably the most frightening thing they'd ever seen and steered clear, the Warriors of Light, however, laughed their asses off while Arc blinked in confusion at his friends from where he was holding a pack of ice to the guys head.

13.) **Protection**

Luneth had always been a protector, to Arc, anybody and everybody, so for him it seemed natural to protect this new, strange family of his.

Refia had never protected anyone and had been raised to be very self-reliant so it naturally left her confused when she pounded a guy into the ground for touching Arc the wrong way.

Ingus had always protected something, not out of a need like Luneth but because it was his duty and it had never been anything more than that, so when Luneth was thrown back into a tree and didn't move he wondered what the burning, sickening feeling in his stomach was when he stepped between Luneth and the monster that was closing in.

Arc had always been protected, never the protector, so when he was left alone with an unconscious Refia and three monsters he didn't know what kept him going, waiting for Luneth and Ingus to get back, when all logic said he should have died well before now.

14.)** Aeronautics**

Out of them all Refia had taken the greatest interest in the airship and had taught herself everything about how it was made and how to control it; so it frustrated her to no end when she realized that she was too short to do actually any steering (she refused to comment when anybody mentioned her atrocious sense of direction.)

15.) **Height**

When Luneth made the mistake of laughing at the fiery girl when Ingus took over the wheel Arc barely arrived in time to keep Refia from throwing Luneth overboard.

16.) **Cognizance**

Arc was the un-official scholar of the group and dealt with all things bookish so he was naturally used to taking in knowledge about absolutely everything and storing it away for later use, as a result the rest of the group quietly feared the unknown amounts of knowledge he'd picked up about them.

17.) **Siblings**

Except Luneth who sighed, shook his head and made sure to secure all incriminating 'outside' items in his pouch, not in fear that Arc would snoop, no, he was pretty certain Arc would rip himself apart for accidentally opening the wrong bento, but because he'd grown up with the perceptive little bugger and knew that if he didn't carefully keep his possessions out of sight Arc would find out about them; he always did.

18.) **Unstable**

After all they'd done it made sense for them to be a little insane because you just didn't save the world (or even the continent) and not have the stress, blood, death, life and pain (of all kinds) that went with it, but it was okay because they had each other and who fucking cared what the world thought when you lurked quietly in a hotel room with your comrades/family/friends/all and more curled protectively around you.

19.) **Loyalty**

They were loyal to each other, once they might have been loyal to parents, or villagers or a princess and her kingdom, but that was in the Before and this was Now and none of those people had put their lives on the line for them or stitched them up when their guts were spilling from their stomach, or held their hand while spells and fever wracked their body and twisted their perceptions; so to Others their true loyalty was the one thing they would never have.

20.) **Finale**

Over, it was over and they had decided to not go home, where barely remembered faces would be unrecognizable and where people would have died and new ones would have been born…and they decided it was better this way, together.

---

_Wow my sentences were long winded. Err…sorry about that (sweat drop) I hope you like it though and I'll have the next chapter up soon…maybe tomorrow, oh! And if any of you have anything you'd like me to write about in a dabble-thing just tell me and I'll see if I can do it…It's not a promise that I will but I'll try…_

_Right, well, have a nice day!_


	4. Fights and Aggravation

_Hello again! Here's the next drabble-thing…a __**real**__ drabble-thing this time, mind you, not the sentences from last time (I like that face ) but yeah…there's not much to say this time so…_

_Thank you to __FlowersOfAeris__ for reviewing and __**Warnings are same as always except there's more blatant slash in this chapter (or at least it's spoken of) and some violence (though not near as much gore as the first chapter)**_

_That said lets go!_

Luneth's violet eyes sparked harshly in the shining moonlight. It was during their standard sparring time, once every two nights, and the silver haired boy stood across from him looking ready to kill.

Understandably Ingus was a bit worried and more than a little confused. He'd have to be careful tonight; and angry Luneth was a reckless one.

There was no warning. One second Luneth was glaring at him from the other side of the clearing, arms lack and sword limp in relaxed fingers, and then he was moving, faster and more agile than was necessary for a friendly spar.

One had to wonder if Luneth had planned for a 'friendly spar'. Then Ingus couldn't focus enough to think at all as his instincts brought his sword up to block the vicious slice directed at his skull. Ingus' knees shook under the weight as Luneth leaned onto his blade.

That did it. One didn't use that kind of strength or murderous maneuver in a spar…or at least not during a warm up faze. Ingus almost truly felt his mind and body shifting gears, his senses sharper and he more focused. Luneth wanted a true fight, not training, not a quarrel, a fight.

Fine, then.

Neither of them was entirely sure how long the fight went on; both too focused on blocking, dodging, striking, planning to care. Then Ingus crouched quickly, using the way his sword blocked Luneth's strike to bring Luneth forward as well. And leave him momentarily unbalanced.

Ingus' booted foot lashed out to catch Luneth in the ankle and the silver haired boy tumbled forward with a yell. Ingus quickly lunged sideways, landing on his leg and butt, to avoid a collision. Both lay panting for a moment and then Luneth sat up and Ingus tensed but Luneth just leaned forward over his legs, slowly catching his breath.

"Would you mind explaining what that was all about?" Ingus said finally, sensing that the danger had passed. Luneth glared at him from the corner of his eye and mumbled something under his breath.

"Excuse me but could you repeat that?" Ingus sighed wearily, drawing Luneth's attention again. Really, he was in pain and pretty sure Luneth had managed to slice his side somewhat. He was really beginning to regret trying not to cause to much damage to the other boy…

"Arc." Luneth's voice cut through his dark thoughts.

"What?" Ingus said, looking up from where he was pulling apart the light armor (curse it) worn by a red mage. "What does Arc have to do with anything?" Luneth glared at the ground. Ingus glared at Luneth. "Tell me, _mongrel_ what does Arc have to do with you trying to decapitate me tonight?" Ingus' teeth gritted together, he wasn't in the best of moods right now.

Luneth stood up silently and Ingus did the same, not ready to let this go. It gave him great satisfaction when Luneth had to limp back over to where they'd left the few supplies they had brought with them. Ignoring his _own_ stinging slice in his side Ingus quickly caught up to the silver haired idiot and grabbed his arm, having to use his other hand to block the reflexive punch Luneth sent at him. "Tell me. Now." Ingus used his best order-giving voice without even thinking about it and Luneth glared harder.

"You don't even notice." Luneth snapped out, tensing even more. Ingus blinked and then narrowed his eyes in not-quite-a-glare.

"What?"

Luneth sighed and wrenched his arm out of Luneth's hold. "You don't even notice and so you're making him mope around even though he _tries_ to hide it and then that makes me all edgy and Refia's annoyed with _everybody_," Ingus blinked again and had to wonder if Luneth was breathing, "and it's all your fault."

There was silence in the clearing for a moment. "_And_," Luneth started up again, "_and _now I'm going to get yelled at and Refia's gonna hit me because it would be strange if she didn't and Arc's gonna be all silent and disappointed and teary eyes and I'm not doing it for _you,_" Luneth shoved him hard in the chest but Ingus was too dazed by the rapid fire words to really care beyond an irritated glare, "I'm doing it for Arc and because Refia threatened to knock me out herself next time during a fight so I miss out on all the important bits…" Here Luneth took a deep breath and glared.

Ingus crossed his arms, "what does this have to do with Arc, myself, and you trying to physically disable me." Luneth let out an aggravated sigh and turned around.

"Get Arc to look at that scratch on your side." Luneth snapped at the aggravated and somewhat confused Ingus over his shoulder as he walked away. "And for the record I really, _really_ don't like you (yeah, more than usual) right now."

---

_Finally something that's a bit closer to an actual drabble _

_Thanks for reading and please review! That 'thing you'd like to see' deal's still going (you know, for like what kind of pairing and such you'd like to see.) Well…_

_Good Evening! _


	5. Uncertainty for Lasting Changes

_I had this idea after getting my new jobs from the fire crystal and giving Arc the job of White Mage so Refia could remain a Geomancer (a job I FELL IN LOVE WITH). Anyway so here is the results of a simple Job switch…since I didn't feel comfortable with less than two magic users and had an intense dislike of the scholar _

---

Arc blinked in confusion as the winter-clad Refia rifled through both of their bags, randomly switching a book or two for potions, antidotes, Eye Drops, etc. etc. The White Mage always carried the bulk of the healing items after all.

Turning his gaze from the slightly-rabid Refia on her organizing spree Arc picked un-comfortably at the mainly white robe that marked him in practice of, well, white magic. And his groups new healer.

A sense of dread coiled in the pit of his stomach; not sitting very nicely with the slightly sick feeling that practicing an entirely new stock and breed of spells all day had left him with. What if he screwed up? What if he fumbled a spell and someone died? What if he forgot everything he'd just learnt and _everyone_ ended up dead? What if he became so flustered he couldn't call on any magic at all?

The former Black Mage-turned Scholar-turned White Mage understood all too well how easily you could panic and lose all ability to grasp magic while you weren't able to focus properly…

_It would be your entire fault crybaby Arc, your fault if they ended up dead; your fault if you weren't prepared and couldn't bring them back…_

Only his recently acquired instinct of ducking-when-a-hard-slash-pointy-object-is-thrown-at-your-head saved him from the book aimed at his forehead. Looking up, startled, Arc met Refia's annoyed but strangely soft expression.

This did not bode well and for his person and once again Arc silently cursed Ingus and Luneth, who had quite frankly vanished as soon as they had decided on a safe place that morning. The cowards, yeah right they left for 'Arc's best interests', hah!

"'_We don't want to hang around distracting Arc Refia! All we'd do is get in your way…'"_

"'_I agree with Luneth, after all magic is a difficult and straining process to grasp, especially magic of an entirely opposite element such as Arc is learning, offensive to defensive, it would probably most beneficial if Luneth and I hunted for our meals while you undertake this difficult process…'"_

"'_Okay, Ingus I think you overdid it _just_ a bit.'"_

"'_Shut up and walk or I'm leaving you here.'"_

"'_Hey! Ingus where- Hey Refia what are you doing with that bow? Aw c'mon Ref' you know we didn't mean it like that- Refia put the bow down- REFIA, DAMMIT! Ingus wait up!'"_

Best interests his ass…Arc realized he'd been lost in thought for too long when Refia cleared her throat. He immediately ducked his head apologetically, a shamed smile on his lips. Refia sighed.

"Thinking?" She asked and Arc blinked, staring at her…she looked strange in her new outfit, somehow warmer; somehow colder and somehow...as if she was in an entirely different world…one Arc had been apart of not that long ago.

"Um, yeah." Arc replied, realizing she was waiting for a response.

"About what will happen if you mess up?" That didn't sound like a question…

Arc remained silent. Refia sighed and looked down in her lap, taking entirely too much care in closing the bag than was necessary. "Yeah, it sucks doesn't it?" Refia looked up again, wistfulness in her eyes, "I'm lucky we haven't run out of Phoenix Down yet…very lucky that we've only used it four times."

"You counted?" Arc couldn't help but ask, but he wasn't surprised. Now that he felt the maturing responsibilities of a healer he understood, somewhat, how you would keep track of that.

Refia gave him a look and nodded. "You probably will too…and as sensitive as you are you'll probably tally off how many bruises we receive as well." Arc blushed and ducked his head. He knew that hadn't been meant as an insult but…_sensitive_ was that how they viewed him?

"That's also why you'll make a better healer than me too…" Arc blinked and looked at Refia but she was watching the fading blue and soft pinkish orange of the late afternoon sky. Her expression was distant and thoughtful.

"Originally Ingus had wanted you as our healer…and me as a monk." Arcs eye's widened slightly in surprise but he didn't interrupt. That would probably get a book thrown at him again.

Refia continued, "originally, and I agree too, we all thought that you would make a better defender and healer than a fighter, with your personality." She paused and seemed to think. "We never got around to talking to you about it though and then you surprised us."

Arc blinked slowly and waited. Surprised them? How…?

"You were a great Black Mage…able to think and plan; you didn't need to be a scholar to see an enemies weakness; you seemed to just…I don't know, _know_ I guess."

Know? It was almost obvious, bugs were weak to fire, desert monsters weak to mainly water and ice…

"Did you know you become almost an entirely different person in battle?" That question was probably rhetorical and Refia continued on without waiting for an answer. "You're so aggressive and calculating…it's almost scary." She laughed and Arc wondered what she was laughing for.

"Luneth was so surprised when you took down an un-dead on your own but you probably didn't notice the looks he gave you afterward…Ingus had been shocked too. We all were I guess."

Arc shifted uncomfortably and Refia suddenly grew quiet. "Still, you will make a better White Mage than me…I'm too brash, too hot-headed. I don't think Luneth would have the patience to watch and wait while everyone else was fighting and Ingus wouldn't tolerate being protected constantly from monsters he's fought long before Luneth picked up a sword…"

She looked back at him, his cheeks were red. "So don't you worry, and anyways, you always did have a far larger magical stock than I did so you'll last longer…and there's Luneth and Ingus for back-up. Now that Luneth's a knight now…" She grinned.

"It's going to be fine. You won't get us killed."

Arc blushed redder and looked down. Refia laughed and tossed a bag to him which he scrambled to catch. "That's the bulk of our healing supplies, they're secured by your bedding and things. Look at the way they're in there when you take them out again; it's the best way to keep anything from breaking." Her grin grew even bigger at Arc's wide eyed look.

"Get used to it too because…" She trailed off and look over his shoulder and Arc turned around, doing the same just in time to see a puzzled Luneth emerge from the trees with a book in hand.

"Hi guys," he said, holding up the book as Ingus came up behind him, "does this belong to us 'cause I found it a few feet back…" Refia came to stand beside Arc and nodded sheepishly.

"Sorry, I must have thrown it harder than I thought."

Ingus sighed and shook his head in resignation before he broke away from the group, two dead rabbit in his hands, and headed for the fire pit, Luneth paled and gave a weak smile.

"Ah, oh, that's nice." He looked around Refia to Ingus who was crouched with his back to all of them. "See it _is_ a good thing we left!"

Arc reddened _again_ before he felt a brief disturbance in the and looked sideways to see Refia's eyes glow a faint green. There was loud crash and a yelp of pain as Luneth suddenly rolled to a stop at Refia's feet. A minor earthquake had rolled him over and he looked up with dazed eyes.

Feeling uncertain Arc almost bent to check on his friend but Refia did that before him and quickly retrieved the book from Luneth's limp grasp. Then she straightened up and turned to Arc, teeth bared in a smile.

"I love this job too much to give it up now." Arc paled at the declaration and state of his friend, smiled shakily and cast an uncertain look at Luneth who was now pulling himself to his feet, grumbling quietly. Seeing that he was fine Arc quickly broke away from the insane members of their little group and went to kneel by Ingus who had a stubbornly focused look on his face, but nodded when Arc came over to help with dinner.

Going with the others unspoken wish Arc tried as hard as possible to ignore the bangs, cries, and the ripping/crunching sound of reformed earth as it shifted.

He found it easier to just not think at all.

_This did not go at all as it was planned and is a bit more _heavy_ I guess is a good word, than I intended I to be…and much longer too, and more choppy-ish (heh -.-)…this will possibly be the last one before School starts up in about two days but also something just might hit me…well I'll see you next time!_


	6. Interlude: To SelfConfidence

_Sorry for the delay. School's been a bit hectic ; _

_Well thank you to everyone who added this story to alerts and things. I won't keep you waiting any longer._

_((Warning: The characters are ranging from somewhat to very OOC after my stint away…please forgive me bows and I hope you enjoy it somewhat anyway))_

Ingus sat cross legged in the middle of the camp. His eyes were loosely closed and his face was smooth and blank. This new form of relaxation was something he'd picked up in the last town and the ex-knight found the technique _meditation_ very useful indeed. A quiet reflection of the day's activities (along with planning battle strategies) was so much easier in a detached dream-like state he could put himself in.

In the soothing, quiet 'buzz' of his mind Ingus could plan training regimes based on his own actions and those of the others in the skirmishes they had entered today. Luneth had been too rash as always, jumping into the fight and drawing two more monsters out un-necessarily. Refia had been clumsy with her recently acquired geomancer form but not anything had a bit more training couldn't fix. Arc…Arc would be a bit harder to deal with.

Ingus knew that to switch between solidly offensive to strictly defense was a very difficult thing to get used to and Ingus had more than once glimpsed Arc trying to murmur the names of black magic spells. The problem wasn't the instinctive habit of Arc to fall back on old tactics; even Ingus did it occasionally, forgetting about his magical abilities. No the problem was Arc's clumsiness when performing healing spells.

None of the spells had the same affect as when Refia had done them. The spells were always a bit on the weak side, as though they themselves weren't quite certain about what they were supposed to be doing.

A mental eyebrow in Ingus' mind furrowed though his real face stayed passive. What could be done to help Arc's problem? Ingus had never really worked in close proximity with a healer on a battle field. All the medics he had come in contact with had stayed in the medical ward and he didn't know what to do.

Ingus would have _liked_ to have tried and convinced himself that more time to get used to his powers would help but a small part of Ingus nagged that 'leaving him be' would not be enough this time.

In fact Ingus was pretty certain that leaving Arc to muddle his way through on his own would make things worse. A flicker of frustration almost broke his hard-earned calm (he wasn't that adept at slipping into this state yet) and Ingus hurriedly evened out his breathing. His thoughts were silent until he was calm again.

Arc lacked self-confidence Ingus began again as though he had not left off, and magic requires a certain degree of confidence to work properly. Black magic had probably been something that the boy hadn't had too much problems casting because there had been two other fighters so if he messed up it could be covered…

But now he was all alone and if Arc messed up there would be no one to pick up the slack. The answer was surprisingly obvious now and Ingus had an urge to smack himself. To help Arc's abilities Arc needed to build his self-confidence.

Ingus slowly brought himself out of meditation, eyes narrowed thoughtfully. Then the knight sighed and stood up. There was only one way he was certain he could help build Arc's confidence in his healing abilities. With that in mind Ingus fixed his red hat on tighter and grabbed his sword.

Then he went to go find Luneth.

---

_Like I said…Pretty OOC. I would like to hear from you though and this one was just more to get me back into the world. (Cut the last half and placed it in a different chapter…this isn't the largely OOC part…you may skip the next one if you don't enjoy watching fumbling Writers trying to get their bearings in a familiar but un-worked fandom)_


	7. Split from last: Arc

_**ALL WHO HAVE READ THE LAST CHAPTER!!! **_

_**THIS IS THE LAST HALF OF WHAT USED TO BE A FULL SIXTH CHAPTER. Do Not Read IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE LAST HALF…ALSO DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ AGAIN! **_

_**I'm sorry to all those who happened to be excited for a new chapter…but I thought the first half sounded better on its own. Forgive Me! TT.TT**_

When Arc came back from stocking up in town he couldn't help but blink in shock at the condition of the campsite. A dull horror filled his stomach and he quickly ran in a direction somewhere south of camp, where loud shouts were sounding from.

His bag with most of the medical supplies was heavy and reassuring in his hand as he ran for the noise. That sounded like Refia…

Arc burst through the trees just in time to see Refia bring down her fist on Luneth's head. Arc froze from where he'd had a potion half pulled from the bag.

He blinked once. He blinked twice.

And then just to be sure he blinked again.

Ingus and Luneth were limp in the middle of a small clearing (from the holes and half shattered stumps Arc was willing to bet that the clearing was not natural). Both the older boys were heavily bruised and Luneth had a bandage wrapped firmly around his thigh.

Both had their heads down while Refia stood over them with her arms crossed.

Arc gaped for a second and the forced out a strangled noise that sounded _vaguely_ like a question. Refia looked up with a glare and quickly stuffed a wad of fabric into Luneth's mouth when he opened it. Arc recognized it as spare bandages; Ingus always carried them around…

Arc looked blankly at Refia for an answer since Luneth was fighting the gag and Ingus was refusing to look in even their most general direction.

"That _idiot_ over there," Arc expected Refia to jab Luneth but was surprised when she pointed at Ingus, "came out of no where and began _sparring_ with Luneth." She kicked the silver haired boy lightly in the ribs and he groaned.

"I managed to get something about healers and self-confidence from sir icy-balls over there." Refia looked grimly proud of herself and Arc offered a weak smile, glancing quickly over to Ingus who was still ignoring them.

Refia glared at Arc. "Normally I would say leave them to rot…" she scowled at the two boys on the ground, "for being such _idiots_ but," she looked up at Arc, "whatever right? I am _not _carrying them." She stalked past Arc to head back to camp, leaving the white mage with his two patients. Luneth looked at him pathetically from where he had half-a-bandage hanging from his mouth and Arc sighed, walking over to Ingus first who was still ignoring everything.

"Really you two," he sighed, beginning to loop the bandage around Ingus' arm just a _tad_ too tightly, pointedly ignoring the discontent grunt from the red mage. "I'm beginning to wonder if this whole 'rawr-rawr I am Big Bad; hear me roar' thing is something that I should be looking into."

He suddenly looked at the two with dramatically wide eyes.

"You aren't having self-confidence issues are you? I heard that sometimes the leaders in high stress situations begin to doubt their abilities…Oh don't worry! Both of you are great fighters and so strong and brave. _I _couldn't do what you do in a million years…" Arc took a deep breath to continue and Ingus turned slowly to glare incredulously at the healer, before exchanging bleakly exasperated looks with Luneth.

Well…damn.

_Like I said…Pretty OOC. I would like to hear from you though and this one was just more to get me back into the world…I've been bad and straying randomly to different fandoms ;; Well I'll see you next time! _

_I'm still sorry!_


	8. When I'm Alive, When I'm Dying

When you spend years hearing the same thing said over and over again, eventually you start to believe it. For Ingus this was his mother's certainty that he would grow to be a knight just like his father. Originally (and this surprised many people) Ingus had been completely against the idea of becoming a knight. When a child hears that they're supposed to grow up just like a man that had died nameless for a family that couldn't possibly care less it sort of puts them off the entire idea.

Eventually, however, after hearing his mother, and his mother's friends, and his uncles declare repeatedly that he'd make a fine knight one day; the idea had become a permanent feature in his mind. Soon he'd stopped hanging around the bakery and kitchens to watch the cooks work. He forgot about his previous dream to become a world-renowned chef and had instead picked up a stick and joined the other boys his age.

His mother had been so proud, more proud than she'd ever been when he'd (almost) perfectly replicated a recipe he'd seen only once. More proud when he came home covered in bruises and cuts while clutching his stick than when he'd come out of the kitchen covered in flour clutching that night's dinner.

For a boy of six who had no father his mother's pride was more than enough to keep him fighting with the other boys and out of the kitchen. A few years later it was still enough to let him leave for training as a paige without regrets.

At least none that he would allow himself to acknowledge.

Throughout his training he allowed himself to be distracted by nothing, not even when news of his mother's death reached him, she didn't want it to, after all. Her last words had been a wish that he become the best knight he could possibly be, better than is father even, and so that's what he did, what he focused on. Becoming the knight his mother wanted him to be meant not giving into his grief, it meant not crying, not resting, not complaining, not bending, and not losing.

And becoming a knight better than his father meant that he absolutely, positively, could not die.

So he didn't do that either.

It wasn't long after he'd cut off everything that wasn't of use to his goal, after he'd become the perfect warrior, that he was announced a knight. Ingus had been asleep for a long time before then, smothered beneath the shadow of him the he'd needed to become. That night, however, Ingus ceased to sleep and Ingus as everyone had known him died.

Sir Ingus's new goal was to guard the princess of the royal family. They believed that since he was so young (only thirteen at the time) he'd be the perfect bodyguard for their nine year old daughter. They had hoped he'd prove a good friend… as well as a perfect sacrifice should the need arise. Since it was expected of him Sir Ingus looked after the girl much as an older brother would. Her well-being, both mental and physical, became his entire world.

He settled the whispers of doubt in his mind, the ones that reminded him of his first oath; the one's that said he couldn't die, with the assurances that at least he wouldn't die unknown. The king would remember him, and certainly the princess would remember her valiant body guard.

For three years his new purpose sustained him well enough. Then, when he was sixteen, three newcomers threw his carefully constructed world screwy. There was the silver haired boy with defiant purple eyes and the protective stance. A girl with fists as hard as stone; who wielded her words like a whip. And a boy who ducked behind both of them with a shy smile and a blush, he who had fire at his fingertips.

They helped him fulfill his purpose, found him when he was lost and guided him back to his path. Then they had found him again when Sir Ingus discovered, to his great discomfort and surprise, that he really didn't want to be on that path anymore.

He was given a new path, the one that they followed and one that he _wanted _to follow. For the longest time he couldn't figure out what about that path that made it almost irresistible to him. It had nothing to do with knighthood, nothing to do with being remembered. Nothing at all to do with his mother's final wish. He wasn't really even a knight, not anymore, not in anything but an old title that collected dust in the back of his mind.

He fought with the stubborn, hot headed Luneth almost constantly, sometimes over The Path, sometimes not. Sometimes they bickered about nothing more than what the weather would be like in two hours. Refia battered her way through his deeply set opinions and sent all his carefully constructed ideals flying as she picked them apart with her bare hands. Arc became his confidant in everything but what Ingus felt should be kept between him and people like Luneth, ones who understood the pains of leadership. The shy magic user helped him sort what Refia trashed and Luneth snapped cleanly in two. Patient Arc became his rock while his entire world was peeled away and tossed aside like trash.

It took a long time, but soon Ingus forgot to be the knight, forgot to be 'Sir Ingus'. It took him a little longer to realize that to them, to Luneth and Refia and Arc, he'd never _been_ 'Sir Ingus', he'd never been the perfect warrior. It took him awhile to realize that to them he'd always been just Ingus. A little bit broken, a little bit tainted, a little bit more than insane. And just _Ingus_.

He'd found himself a niche; found himself a goal, found himself as something he wanted to be. The old Ingus was dead; the little chef couldn't survive the life he'd led since leaving his home for the first, and then second, time. The shadow he'd been was gone as well, though bits of it still lingered around the edges of his mind, but that was okay because he needed that bit of insanity to stay sane.

This Ingus was a good enough person to be anyway. After all was said and done, when the world was right again and the darkness had fled, this Ingus could continue on. When they set up camp the night after winning the battle and the world, after the other three had fallen asleep, this Ingus stayed up, thinking.

This Ingus though about death, and his old oath to never die, to be better than his father. The knight in him still stuck by that sworn oath, the human in him feared being forgotten, the child in him feared disappointing his long dead mother. This Ingus was looked at the three extensions of himself and wondered.

Staying with the people who'd become closer than blood to him meant being forgotten as Ingus and remembered as a faceless hero without a name to everybody but his family. This Ingus didn't have family, and a part of him rebelled strongly against being forgotten after everything he'd done for the world.

Going back to the palace meant a chance as being remembered as Sir Ingus, who'd travelled beyond the edge of the world to battle the darkness. Something in him rebelled against that too.

This Ingus thought, and pondered, and wrestled with the conflicting views his mind presented him with. It was almost dawn when he finally came to a decision, after hours of watching is own sleep peacefully for the first time since the beginning.

He decided that being remembered only by them might be little bit like dying, a little bit like breaking an old promise. But if dying and lying meant being able to argue with Luneth about the weather, meant being able to laugh with Refia and talk with Arc about nothing and everything…

Ingus decided that maybe becoming a knight worse than his father, that not being a knight at all, that breaking his unspoken vow to his mother, that dying forgotten by everyone but this little makeshift family of his…Ingus decided that maybe it might be worth it, if only to see them wake again, and again, and again to smile and laugh and let him feel _alive_, even if for that life he damned himself.

Ingus had never believed that dying could feel so much like waking up again.

---

(Begs and grovels) I'm SO sorry! High school's been a pain in the --- and I haven't been able to find the time or motivation to write anything! Pre-AP classes are the work of Satan I tell you! (My backpack feels heavier than my 100 pound sister! Every. Day!) This is only the second thing I've written for pleasure for months (and it's been a little over a month since the last one) so I'm sorry if it's confusing or just plain bad. This was mainly to unwind. I wouldn't post this normally (like I said, it's confusing and bad) but I've left you all waiting for long enough…

I'M SORRY!

(My English teacher would probably wind up in the hospital if I turned this in…(winces)) I'm going to find something for my back now…I've been sitting here typing this thing for almost three hours now…

SORRY AGAIN!


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